Best 6 year-old dinner party guest: Noah

Noah, age 6, in the Guardian's Children Seen and Heard series, 001
Noah: ‘I can’t help buying Doctor Who cards’. Photograph: Caroline Irby

I want to sit next to Noah, age 6. He was interviewed for the Guardian’s Seen and heard series of chats with children:

The world is being destroyed. It’s like summer in the winter now. We basically need factories stopped, shut down, and we need electric cars with a battery.

I had a girlfriend once and I don’t have one any more. She was a bit annoying – she really couldn’t control her anger.

My favourite food is crab and octopus – I had it when I was miniature.

Daddy died a year and a half ago. He wasn’t a very good driver, so he was driving when he was looking for something and suddenly he just crashed into a big lorry. I was sad. Not as sad as my Mum.

Picasso’s my favourite artist. He doesn’t draw properly, he’s an impressionist, same as Van Gogh.

My favourite subject is singing, but it’s up to our teacher what we sing – we once had to sing Winnie The Pooh And Tigger. I’d prefer to sing adult songs like Viva Las Vegas.

I’m bad at helping myself. I can’t help it if I really want to do something. Like Johnny Cash doesn’t want to take drugs but he can’t help it. I can’t help buying Doctor Who cards or doing swapsies.

I know lots of people who’ve taken drugs. Like a friend of my Dad’s – he used to be nice but he isn’t any more because he took too many drugs.

I have two enemies. One’s an adult who I’m not going to tell you about because the adults might read it and get upset, but I’ll tell you about the child: he’s cuckoo and says he loves everyone, like our prime minister.

Love is for puny humans.

God has a big hood, black face, skeleton hands and a big axe.

In my ideal heaven you’d be able to sneak down, because you’re invisible, and steal sweeties from the sweetie shop.

When I grow up I want to be an actor. I want to be able to be the Doctor but I doubt I will, I don’t look good enough. Well, David Tennant only looks good in the film: the real David Tennant is ugly.

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